I’m not saying Eric Swalwell was hooking up with a suspected Chinese spy named Fang Fang and I’m not saying he farted on TV, but I’m just saying…. does she know about the fart video?
To remind everyone, Swalwell denied it was him who ripped the giant beefer on video. Despite it being at least a 7/10 gasser, he wouldn’t even take credit for it and we’re left to wonder if it was the cameraman or him because he won’t admit to ripping one. Every strong male in this country will take pride and admit when they do something that is completely natural.
Take a look at the fart heard around the world and relive the flatulence of the situation:
OMFG SOUND ON pic.twitter.com/StziH3Yh49
— Andrew Lawrence (@ndrew_lawrence) November 19, 2019
Swalwell is best know for the farting clip and literally nothing else other than hating Trump and saying things that gets conservatives to freak out on Twitter.
And just when we thought the fart faded out of the dutch oven, Swalwell rips another one with these accusations that he was boning a Chinese spy who’s last name is FANG.
Now call me crazy, but a few years ago I was being stalked by a girl who had a “snaggle-tooth” and we joked about it and nicknamed her “Fang” but she’s a white girl and not an international spy, allegedly.
So now we’ve got Swalwell back in the news but for something much more serious that could be some sort of national security issue, much more intense then a bad fart that ends up being a little wet on the way out.
Axios had the scoop on the real Fang, the one who might be dangerous and by that, I mean she is smoking hot!
The woman at the center of the operation, a Chinese national named Fang Fang or Christine Fang, targeted up-and-coming local politicians in the Bay Area and across the country who had the potential to make it big on the national stage.
Through campaign fundraising, extensive networking, personal charisma, and romantic or sexual relationships with at least two Midwestern mayors, Fang was able to gain proximity to political power, according to current and former U.S. intelligence officials and one former elected official.
Even though U.S. officials do not believe Fang received or passed on classified information, the case “was a big deal, because there were some really, really sensitive people that were caught up” in the intelligence network, a current senior U.S. intelligence official said.
Private but unclassified information about government officials — such as their habits, preferences, schedules, social networks, and even rumors about them — is a form of political intelligence. Collecting such information is a key part of what foreign intelligence agencies
Call me the crazy one here, but if a good looking Chinese spy wants to take me for a spin, then let me know where to sign up.
I promise not to fart on her like Eric Swalwell might have.
I also don’t have any top secret information and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t either. Only important people in government get that, right?
Also, I feel bad for her if she was hooking up with Eric Swalwell. That must have been considered torture for her. What did she do to deserve this?
Maybe we should feel pity for the attractive Chinese spy who was assigned the Swalwell case. Poor girl probably threw up in her mouth every time he ripped a beefer.
This whole thing reminds me of a scene from the greatest movie ever made: